Christian Couples Counseling: Getting Support

The goal of Christian couples counseling is to develop a strong, healthy, Christ-centered relationship. The media portrays a limitless number of ideas of what it means to be the “perfect couple,” and while not all of those are bad, few if any hit the mark of what it means to have a godly relationship.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world. The world is passing away, along with its desires; but whoever does the will of God remains forever. – 1 John 2:15-17

Worldly Values

Many will emphasize different worldly values like attraction, wealth, or status. Many popular reality dating shows idolize beauty and physique as the hallmark of a healthy relationship. The message they send is, “as long as you are both attractive and attracted to one another, then this will be a great fit.” Unfortunately, culture has yet to learn that looks alone cannot and will not serve as a solid foundation for any relationship.

Others in culture prize wealth as the ultimate sign of a successful relationship. Men and women prize the idea of a “trophy wife”, where a wealthy, successful man can underwrite the expenses of his beautiful wife. Thanks to his wealth, she is relieved of any responsibility to work, achieving what many consider to be the ultimate goal. Glendale Christian Counseling helps couples build relationships rooted in deeper values, such as mutual respect, faith, and shared purpose.

This mentality can also be seen in the idea of marrying up for money. Wealth is a sign of success in the world today, so couples naturally feel successful if they can achieve wealth regardless of how it impacts their relationship.

Finally, many value status in a relationship. The more influential someone is, the more attractive they are. This is why you see so many people drawn to celebrities or politicians. There is something about power that is magnetic. Whether they are a world-renowned athlete, or the local high school sports star, influence and status are highly desired in relationships.

If you find this hard to believe, just look at how the world assesses your social media presence. You are judged by how many followers you have and how many likes you can get. Power is attractive and being connected to a powerful person in a couple is a value in the word.

Why Christian Couples Counseling is Important

It is difficult to not let these different cultural values affect your relationship. It is human nature to value beauty, wealth, and power above all else, which is why the Apostle John cautions us to not love the world or anything in it. Love for the world is a good indication that one is not a Christian.

Additionally, when you let worldly values define your relationship, all they will do is produce strife like:

Communication issues

Sometimes strife in a relationship won’t result in a massive break. Instead, it will feel like constantly being on the wrong page. If you feel like you cannot safely express yourself or that your significant other won’t listen, then you need help communicating. While communication issues may not seem serious, they take their toll over time.

Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most significant problems a couple can face. To recover from this type of betrayal will require professional help. Facing it on your own will likely either not resolve the real problem or be too difficult to manage. To move forward requires true repentance and faith.

Lack of emotional intimacy

Relationships are supposed to be places of deep connection and safety. Feeling distant and alone in your relationship is a serious problem. You may be able to muscle it through for a while, hoping things will get better. But if you don’t address the issue, you risk facing serious consequences, such as addiction and divorce, in the long haul.

Damaging behavior

When there is tension in a relationship, people often turn to a coping mechanism in the form of damaging behavior. These can vary from overeating to drug use. If the root of these behaviors is not addressed, then your relationship is at serious risk.

What Couples Therapy Offers You

If you are struggling in your relationship, counseling is a wise choice. You do not need to be on the brink of divorce to benefit from Christian couples counseling. Anyone looking to strengthen their relationship through redefining their values will benefit. Couples counseling is a powerful way to address the values of the world in your relationship and move toward a Christ-centered relationship

Couples counseling offers a holistic approach to healing your relationship. It focuses on both partners’ pasts, wounds, and family patterns. You may begin working individually with a counselor before coming together to meet as a couple.

By moving past the behavior to focus on the root issues, you and your significant other will be able to find true healing and satisfaction in your relationship. It may be a painful and vulnerable process, but if you commit to the journey your relationship will become stronger than before.

Christian couples counseling can help you:

• Grow closer and more intimate with your significant other
• Communicate clearly
• End dangerous and destructive behavior.
• Strengthen and unify your relationship
• Reawaken the spark of sexual intimacy

Types of Couples Counseling

There a several approaches to couples counseling. A Christian couples counselor will decide which is the best fit for you and your relationship.

The Gottman Method

This method focuses on developing a “love map” where you learn more about your partner’s joys, pains, fears, and disappointments. The goal of this is to foster a deeper understanding and intimacy between you and your partner. Once you understand each other’s histories, then you will learn to better manage your conflict.

Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy

This method focuses on your emotions. It approaches recovery through day-to-day actions. Your counselor will work with you to identify damaging ways you relate in your relationship and develop new, healthy ways of engaging one another.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy allows both partners to express their experiences through story. By doing so, it creates some space from the direct “you did this” dialogue and allows both people the chance to speak. Once you have both shared, then your counselor will work with you to rewrite the problem areas of your narrative and brainstorm solutions to help you move forward.

Psychodynamic Approach

This approach focuses on the underlying issues. Often childhood trauma or experiences from your past are what hold you captive in the present. By stepping back to address the past, you can step into healing in the present. Your counselor will help you step back into the past and come to peace with your story.

Conclusion

The values of the world can sneak into your relationship, and as they do, you will begin to experience more and more strife. If you let this tension grow and develop, it will lead to damaging behavior, emotional distance, and even separation or divorce.

Taking time to work on your relationship is something you will not regret. While many people want a Christ-centered, loving relationship, they struggle to achieve it. Finding peace, love, and support in your relationship is possible, but you may need help to get there.

If you are committed to developing a loving, Christ-centered relationship, then reach out to a Christian couples counselor at Glendale Christian Counseling today. You will not regret fighting for the health of your relationship.