Encouragement for a Depressed Husband

Depression is an extremely hard illness to deal with both individually and when someone close to you is suffering. A depressed husband can seem to have lost many of his positive characteristics, sinking into lethargy and grumpiness. He may display an array of less-than-desirable habits that make things feel challenging for you both. At Lake Forest Christian Counseling, we offer support and guidance to help couples navigate these difficult seasons with understanding and hope.

A man’s self-esteem is closely linked to his work situation, and, in the current economic climate, with many men finding themselves unemployed, the already high depression rate among men is climbing.

While women are more prone to depression, over six million men in America experience depression every year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Given that men are less likely to share about their internal battles than women are, the figure is likely higher.

The wife of a depressed husband can feel a range of emotions such as anger, helplessness, frustration, and confusion. This may be particularly evident when there are still children in the home as she may feel the need to fulfill the role of both father and mother.

If you suspect that your husband is suffering from depression, there are some steps to take to help him move from a dark place toward seeing light at the end of the tunnel and a future filled with hope instead of anxiety and negativity.

Know the symptoms

Symptoms of depression vary by individual and can be mild or severe. It can be difficult to assess whether you have a depressed husband or if they are suffering differently. The American Psychiatric Association states that a combination of symptoms from the list below needs to last at least two weeks before a medical professional can diagnose clinical depression:

• feelings of sadness, worthlessness, or guilt
• loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities
• changes in appetite or weight
• changes in sleeping habits
• fatigue and loss of energy
• difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• thoughts of death or suicide

Going to visit your healthcare provider will be an excellent first step to rule out any medical issues that could be giving rise to the symptoms. A depressed husband will also be more likely to express their emotion through anger and aggression, spend more time at work, or focused on another distraction, such as playing video games. A diagnosis is extremely important to know what you are dealing with.

Know what you’re dealing with

A major depressive disorder can be extremely debilitating, to the point where basic functions cannot be carried out; while psychotic depression includes delusional behavior and hallucinations. Minor depression includes less severe symptoms, while persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) often spans a lengthy period (several years) with mellow symptoms.

Learning about what your husband is going through, and that he will have good days and bad days is helpful. It can arm a wife with the knowledge she needs to offer the right kind of support to her husband.

Know how to treat it

Depression is not an illness that can generally be treated with medication alone. A Biblically trained counselor is well-placed to guide a depressed husband through sessions that will help him uncover the root of his struggles, and come alongside him in the renewing of his mind through God’s Word, once he is in the mental space to do this.

While depression is complex and should in no way be reduced to a simplistic solution, a number of the symptoms have to do with the way people think, react to adverse circumstances, or relate to others. Addressing pessimistic thinking, guilt, and personal problems are critical in breaking unhealthy cycles and forging a way forward.

The power of prayer for a depressed husband

A wife’s prayers for her husband as he navigates depression are undoubtedly the most important part of his healing process. While it can be difficult to pray for oneself when one is going through a depression, the prayers of those around you, particularly your spouse, are what will carry a person through the difficult time. A praying wife wages war against depression with an indestructible weapon.

Prepare to have an attitude of support for a depressed husband

Living with a depressed husband can be extremely difficult for a wife, especially if she has not experienced something similar in her own life. A person who is suffering from depression cannot easily change their responses and so coaxing them toward feeling better can be counterproductive.

A wife who prays daily for strength from God and lets her husband know that they will face the challenge together provides irreplaceable support. Checking in that they’re taking their medication and going to appointments, letting them know you’re available to talk, and using language that validates their feelings can go a long way toward helping him move out of his depressive state.

A calm space, a calm mind

External mess and clutter can be very jarring to someone who is suffering from depression. The wife of a depressed husband can do their best to keep the home as organized and clutter-free as possible, knowing that this will go a long way toward improving their psyche and helping them to return to a more normal, positive space. This does not mean the full responsibility falls on her shoulders as the family can work together to offer calm in the home.

Raise the endorphins level of a depressed husband

Exercise is highly recommended to help ease depression, although when one is feeling very low it can be difficult to exert physical energy. A wife with a depressed husband can encourage their spouse to get out for a daily walk, and to enjoy healthy food. These simple activities can have a profoundly positive effect.

Daily achievements

Starting small is the key to helping someone who is depressed and overwhelmed by even the simplest task. A depressed husband may find getting out of bed in the morning a monumental task, so even this act can be acknowledged as a daily achievement. Setting some small goals, and breaking them up into smaller parts can be empowering for someone struggling with depression. Setting the right pace will help them gradually return to normal activities.

Keep positive

When you’re surrounded by someone who is only seeing the glass as half empty as opposed to half full, it can be difficult to keep positive and not slip into a depression oneself. A wife with a depressed husband may need to seek out counseling as well, to talk through her thoughts and be strengthened in the task of walking alongside their spouse.

Getting some time out is important too. Regularly making time to socialize with girlfriends or recharge with a change of scenery can work wonders.

Be aware of warning signs in a depressed husband

Even if a person’s depression is on the milder side or seems to be improving, the closest caregiver (in this case, the wife of a depressed husband) must be aware of the warning signs of suicide.

These signs include being preoccupied with thoughts around dying such as getting one’s affairs in order and giving away belongings. They could also get a means to end their life such as a stock of pills or a gun or engage in reckless or self-destructive behavior. Any extreme mood swings or noticeable changes in personality or behavior should be treated with caution, and with the help of medical assistance.

Help is available

There are few things harder on a marriage than a partner who is suffering from depression. It is important though to recognize the problem and seek assistance, rather than continuing in a state where things ultimately worsen. Christian Counselors at Lake Forest Christian Counseling can provide the support and guidance you need during this challenging time.

Spouses have a profound effect on each other. If a wife of a depressed husband can support her husband appropriately, she can play an instrumental role in seeing her partner through this tough time to help them emerge as a stronger couple on the other side of depression. Being this strong pillar of support often depends on being able to be supported oneself by a trained Biblical counselor, friends, and a loving church community.