How to Deal with Anxiety in Parenthood

Anxiety can be debilitating in any phase of life. Parental anxiety is a form of anxiety that is not commonly talked about. It can mean excessively worrying about the health and well-being of your child – whether it be during the pregnancy, when they are newborn, or throughout their childhood and adolescent years. If you’re wondering how to deal with anxiety as a parent, this article is for you.

Parental anxiety is not something that should go unchecked because the tendencies could be passed on to your child and cause additional physical and emotional effects on your health and well-being.

Every parent desires the best for their child. Every parent desires to shield their child from all hurt, harm, and danger. While it is perfectly normal to have worries and fears about your child, when it becomes all-consuming you know there is a problem. When you can no longer sleep due to excessive worry, if you have panic attacks due to excessive worrying, if you fall into patterns of avoidance due to anxiety, then you need help.

For some, parental anxiety begins the moment you see the double lines on the pregnancy test, while others kick into overdrive once their child has their first sickness. Parental anxiety can be common for those who already struggle with anxiety or can stem from childhood baggage/trauma, or it can stem from genetics or learned behaviors.

Signs of Anxiety in Parents

Perhaps you had a parent who struggled with parental anxiety and you were never able to ride the bus or play at a friend’s house because they were concerned for your safety. If left unaddressed, parental anxiety can escalate into:

Avoidance

Example: not wanting your children to attend sleepovers because you feel you cannot trust anyone, even when it is your best friend who knows your child like the back of their hand.

Unrest

Example: Pacing your living room while your teenager is on shift at the grocery store because you are imagining ten different scenarios of things that could go wrong between traveling from the grocery store to home.

Worrying over events that have not yet happened

Example: Not letting your child ride the bus because you fear someone bullying them.

Emotional and physical decline due to worry

Example: Excessive amounts of research instead of sleeping at night due to worry over everything your child experiences, like growing pains. While research is not bad, if you over-research everything, your mind will continue to spiral in a million different directions, causing further anxious behaviors, unrest, and negative physical effects.

No outside relationships/activities for parents

Example: Not trusting a babysitter with your children so you never go on dates with your spouse, never attend social events, or do not feel you can leave the children with someone else so you can take a mental break from time to time. While your children will always be important, it is also important to invest in your relationship with your spouse, friends, church, work, etc.

How to Deal with Anxiety as a Parent

If you are trying to navigate parental anxiety, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Combat fear

Sometimes to rid fear, you must trust God and face your fears head-on. Exposure therapy might be beneficial for some to help face fear in a controlled environment to help walk through the realization that 1) you can do this, 2) it is going to be okay, and 3) sometimes certain fears are built up in our heads way more than what may come to fruition.

To rid a parent’s fear of your child being bullied on the bus, your child riding the bus and having a positive experience can help combat and rid that fear completely. These are all excellent things to talk to a professional counselor about. The biggest thing you need to know is that you are not alone in feeling anxious.

You are not alone if you tend to imagine the worst possible scenarios happening to your child. The thing is – we do not want you to live a life filled with worry because worry can consume so much of your thoughts that you forget to pause, enjoy life, and breathe in the positive moments with your children.

Confide in your spouse

One of the biggest obstacles those with anxiety can face is admitting their struggles. When you feel overcome by anxious thoughts and feel guilty for feeling them, you tend to keep them bottled up, which can further complicate and rattle your emotions and relationships. Take time to confide in your spouse.

Let them reassure you and pray for you. Let them help redirect those worrisome and anxious thoughts with other thought patterns. In marriage, we are called to be best friends, prayer partners, and love one another through thick and thin. Battling anxiety is a battle that is better tackled together.

Do a check-up on your coping mechanisms

Anxiety can run rampant if we fall into negative coping patterns. It is important to find positive coping patterns and engage in things that can redirect and redefine who we are. It is important to turn to God, pray, exercise, find hobbies you enjoy, use positive self-talk, and ensure that there are people you can confide in when your thought patterns are going haywire and running on overdrive.

Falling into patterns of alcohol, drug abuse, negative self-talk, and crawling into a dark corner can all add to your anxiety and send your heart and mind into a dark, all-consuming hole from which it is difficult to escape.

Engage in deep-breathing and find time to relax

In a world that is constantly running, parents must find time to take a deep breath. You can engage in deep breathing exercises when you find yourself beginning to spiral but take it one step further and find what helps you mentally, physically, and spiritually rejuvenate.

You need a spiritual and emotional “spa day” from time to time – time to talk to God and unwind. Perhaps you need to take a hot bubble bath while listening to your favorite worship song over and over. Lay your burdens at His feet. Cry out to God. Be vulnerable. You mustn’t try to bottle up your emotions.

Trust God and never stop praying

It is important to realize that parenthood has its fair share of anxiety. You want the best for your child and to protect your child, but it is important to realize that life is also about living it and trying to trust God in the process. Pray for their protection. Pray for their salvation. Pray that they would find the right friends. Pray for their health. Do what you can when you can but know that we must surrender the unknowns to God.

You can focus on how you raise your children rather than try to control everything that happens to them because we simply cannot. You can teach your child things might not always go according to plan, but with God, we can face the storms and waiting periods of life.

You can focus on teaching your child respect and how to handle situations when they observe a bully. You can teach your child to always work hard, even when other people do not notice. You can teach your child about faith, and model trusting God through the storms of life.

Parenthood is an ever-changing and always-adapting journey. You must take it one day and one step at a time. Take time to find ways to redirect those anxious thoughts. Take time to confide in your spouse and remember that we cannot control everything that happens around us, but we can take to heart how we choose to respond.

Christian Counseling for Parental Anxiety

Schedule your counseling session today and let us aid you in your parenting journey. Let us navigate this journey together so that you can live out your full potential and help your children do the same. Your future is bright and so is your child’s. Scriptures to take to heart as you battle anxiety – God is in control and offers hope, even when it feels so far away:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. – Psalm 23:4

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. –Deuteronomy 31:6