As much as we know we need it, it can be hard to know how reach out for help. When things are not going well, we tend to keep to ourselves and retreat from relationships. But that may not be helpful.
People are created for connection. From the beginning of time when God made man, He recognized that it wasn’t healthy for man to be on his own. “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18, NIV) If that was true then, when the world was perfect, imagine how much more important it is today. At Lake Forest Christian Counseling, we provide a compassionate space to help you navigate these challenges and build meaningful connections.
When to reach out for help
Even when we know that connection with others is important, it can be hard to know how to pursue that. This is especially true when we are not doing well. In a difficult season, it can feel more difficult to reach out and talk to people. This may be for a variety of reasons such as feeling:
Overwhelmed.
When we are overwhelmed, we cannot add the burden of connection, even if we know it is beneficial.
Fear.
It can be scary to reach out to other people, especially if we are worried that they will judge, misunderstand, or reject us in our pain.
Jealous.
When things feel hard, it can seem like everyone else has a better life. This can make it intimidating to reach out and connect with people who we think won’t understand.
Uncertain.
When we don’t know if someone will support us, we can feel uncertain about reaching out. This is especially true if there are people who have not been there for us in the past.
Lonely.
Feeling lonely breeds loneliness. This can create a cycle that feels hard to escape.
These are just a few of the feelings that make it hard to reach out to people for help. Fortunately, reaching out doesn’t have to be complicated. It is often best when we keep things simple and to the point.
How to reach out
Since seeing someone or calling them on the phone can feel risky, here are five text messages you can send when you need support from a friend or loved one.
Text: “I’m not doing well. Can you help me find the resources I need?”
This text is great because it is direct without divulging uncomfortable or personal information. Plus, it isn’t putting the burden on the recipient to fix anything. It is simply asking them to help you find the resources that will help your situation.
Text: “I need to say something and it’s out of my comfort zone. Can you listen?”
The beauty of this text is that it indicates an area in which you feel vulnerable. This immediately informs the person you text that you need them to be aware of that and respect your vulnerability. By asking if they can listen, it also gives them the chance to say if this is something they can manage right now. This protects both of you from being in an uncomfortable situation.
Text: “I value you as a safe friend and I want you to know how I’m doing.”
This immediately validates the person you are texting and shows them that you need a trustworthy person to listen and understand what you are struggling with.
Text: “I have something I need to share. Do you have the emotional space to hold it with me right now?”
It is important to recognize that the person you reach out to has their own things going on. This text makes space for that by asking if they can handle your hardship alongside you at this time. This is also good because it may mean that they may not be able to help right now, it’s not that they can’t help ever again. You can keep this person in your support network even if they can’t help today.
Text: “I’m really struggling and I’m not sure what to do. Will you help me find support?”
This text makes it clear to the recipient that you are dealing with something intense, and you feel lost. Asking them to help you find support is a wonderful way to get what you need while ensuring that you are part of the process.
Additional support is available
If you are facing a tough time and need support, it can be hard to reach out to people you know. A Christian counselor is a great resource that can help you with whatever you face in a safe, private setting. You don’t need to worry about being judged or wondering if you can trust them.
Reach out to Lake Forest Christian Counseling today. We are here for you.
Sources:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Csca1jFPRGB/
Photos:
“Reaching Out”, Courtesy of John Fornander, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Flowers in the Hand”, Courtesy of Amy Humphries, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Handful of Lights”, Courtesy of Yohann Lc, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
